Cords of Kindness

Kindness. That word has been ever present in my thoughts for many months. Not because I am oh so kind, but because I am not. Oh yes, I used to think I was kind, but adopting a child who has orphan behaviors deeply rooted within her showed me that I am not kind. Being kind costs you something. Being nice doesn't necessarily cost you anything. You can be nice but not mean it. You can say nice things but think ugly thoughts. You can put a smile on and act appropriate for the situation, but it may not cause you to sacrifice yourself. Being kind, on the other hand, does cost your selfishness. It costs your right to say, "This isn't fair." It costs your pride which makes you think somehow your good parenting will overcome the flaws. It costs your ability to vent your anger. The first scripture that disciplined me on this point is:

Colossians 3:8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

As a child of God, I do not have the luxury to stay angry or to act out in wrath. I am commanded to put on kindness. Hmph! I'm not sure I can do that. So what is kindness anyway? If it is not just "being nice" or putting on a happy face even when I don't feel like it, then what is it? As in all things good, I look to the Lord for a model. He is faithful to speak his Word into my heart.

Zechariah 7:9 "Thus says the LORD of hosts, Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another, 10 do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart." 11 But they refused to pay attention and turned a stubborn shoulder and stopped their ears that they might not hear. 12They made their hearts diamond-hard lest they should hear the law and the words that the LORD of hosts had sent by his Spirit through the former prophets. Therefore great anger came from the LORD of hosts. 13 "As I called, and they would not hear, so they called, and I would not hear," says the LORD of hosts, 14 "and I scattered them with a whirlwind among all the nations that they had not known. Thus the land they left was desolate, so that no one went to and fro, and the pleasant land was made desolate."

Kindness and mercy. Ok, so mercy is not giving someone what they deserve. I found in many other scriptures referencing kindness, mercy was right there beside it. Not giving what is deserved. Do I want to be merciful? Not always. Am I entering the territory of hardening my heart? Perhaps. If I hear that I have to be kind and merciful, then I can't harden my heart towards this little one who is testing me. If I hear that I have to be kind and merciful, then I can't yell at her in annoyance. If I hear that I have to be kind and merciful, then I can't complain about how difficult it is. If I hear that I have to be kind and merciful, then I can't always demand perfection and exact retribution if not received. If I let the hardness creep into my heart, if I don't fight against it with only the strength God can provide, the picture is not pretty. Scattered, desolate. I don't want that. He didn't call me to adopt to lead me into desolation.

Hosea 11:1 When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. 2 The more they were called, the more they went away; they kept sacrificing to the Baals and burning offerings to idols.3 Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up by their arms, but they did not know that I healed them. 4 I led them with cords of kindness, with the bands of love, and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws, and I bent down to them and fed them. 5 They shall not return to the land of Egypt, but Assyria shall be their king, because they have refused to return to me.

How about this one? Doesn't your heart break? The more they were called, the more they went away! Even though God's beloved turned from him and went their own way, he still led them with cords of kindness and bands of love. This one spoke to me in so many ways. I can relate to verse 2. It seems no matter how much I try to show love to Hannah, she still goes her own way, purposely disobeying again and again. It does get wearisome. I started to wonder how to reconcile this kindness with the need to rightly discipline a child who is disobedient. God does discipline his people out of his kindness and love. Discipline hurts. Don't I know! I went through a huge season of it, and He keeps bringing me back to it again and again. Ha! I am more like Hannah that I would like to admit. Nevertheless, he doesn't crush me. He leads me. He trains me. I always know that it is for my good. He does demand obedience; he does discipline those he loves; he did pour out his full cup of wrath on his beloved son so that I may be adopted as an heir. He didn't pour it out on me; he poured it out on Christ.

Romans 2:4 Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?

That's the one that the Spirit has been speaking to me day in and day out recently. The kindness of God led me to repentance. My kindness is meant to accomplish the same. I did not repent because of God's anger. I came to Him because of His kindness and His unconditional love.

Oh wretched man that I am. Who can rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. There is therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Each moment is another opportunity to put off the old and put on the new. Kindness. Growing this fruit in me is taking a lot of pruning!