Fearless Freedom

Although this blog's primary purpose is to be a photo journal of the every days of our family, from time to time I may express some of my thoughts or struggles here. A few posts ago I shared what God is teaching me about kindness. Wouldn't you know it that the very next morning our dear pastor preached a sermon on the mortification of sin in the context of our adoption in Christ from Romans 8? The Holy Spirit was already working on this in me, so I was a near basket case during the sermon. I literally felt like sobbing out of recognition that God was speaking through Doug directly to me. Only the Spirit could have orchestrated all those thoughts and scriptures together, so I knew it was his voice. The whole first half of the sermon was about putting sin to death in our lives, stamping it out, not for our salvation but because of it. This was exactly what God was speaking to me about my lack of kindness when things were not so easy. I was hearing exactly what I was already thinking, but then I got the big whammy. The point in Doug's sermon that nailed me was that the believer will have fearless freedom because he has received the Spirit of adoption. My mind latched onto that phrase: fearless freedom. This is the heart of "his kindness leads us to repentance." I began to wonder if I was walking in that fearless freedom or was I still acting like an orphan in some ways, settling for my own type of orphan behavior, acting like anyone else would in a tough situation. But I'm not anyone else, I have been bought by the precious blood of Christ. I have an obligation to put to death the deeds of the flesh. Even more, I began to wonder if I was instilling that fearless freedom in my own adopted daughter, or all my children, for that matter. Is my kindness leading them to repentance and obedience? Are they fearlessly free to love and obey? Is their obedience out of joyful gratitude and love or just fear of consequences? It was really transforming. I have been ruminating on it for a few weeks now and it still resonates. I am humbled by the kindness of my God again as he leads me with those cords of kindness. Like the contemporary song says, "He's not finished with me yet."

Upward Flag Football

Andrew is playing Upward Flag Football this year for the first time. It has been such a great experience for him. His coaches are so caring and encouraging, yet they are really teaching the boys how to play football. They have wristbands with actual plays and they really run them! They get to play different positions so they can learn about the whole game. It is so much better than the "win at all cost" philosophy of a lot of youth sports today. When a play falls apart, they don't get yelled at, they are instructed. Best of all, they learn to play in the context of doing all for the glory of God. They don't worry too much about the score (although each boy knows exactly what it is at any given moment) and they don't dwell on the victory or the loss. They try to work together as a team and learn with each play. I am so thankful that Andrew has this opportunity. He is doing quite well and has made a few touchdowns. 2 of these touchdowns came while I was taking other children to the restroom, so I missed them. I'm having to miss his game this Saturday because of a family baby shower, so we joke that he'll probably make several touchdowns this week since I wont' be there! He has made some new friends and is having a great time.

The Georgia National Fair

Each year since Lauren was a toddler we have made an effort to go to the Georgia National Fair in October. Last year we didn't make it, but this year we did. It was a beautiful early fall day, and we had a relaxing time together. This was the first year that everyone was old enough to just stay until we were ready to go home. Aunt Linda met us there as usual and we all enjoyed the day together. This was Hannah's first fair and the first one that Gabriel could actually remember since he was 2 the last time we visited.

The baby chicks exhibit is always the kids' favorite. Andrew even watched the video on how a chicken goes from the farm to your grocery store. A wee bit gruesome, but he was enthralled. We watched a cattle roping on horseback contest - very impressive. Lauren was chosen as one of the volunteers from the audience for the cow milking demonstration. Andrew was picked as the boy from the crowd to help a juggler during his sidewalk show. Andrew was a very good sport and we have some funny pictures of him with balls twirling on his head and hands all at the same time. Both Lauren and Andrew were chosen to root for one of the racing pigs. Neither of their pigs won, but it was a hoot anyway. We watched the little circus and rode a few fair rides. This year we took a picnic lunch and ate under a large oak tree. It was quite relaxing and much less expensive than a fair food lunch for 7. We chose to use our fair food money to buy us each something really yummy and bad for you. Andrew and I ate strawberry shortcake, Lauren drank a strawberry daiquiri (virgin, of course), Hannah experienced her first cotton candy, Gabe chose popcorn, and Eric ate a funnel cake. YUM! We bought some local honey and remembered to save enough ride coupons to ride the sky ride. It was a great memory for all of us.

Cords of Kindness

Kindness. That word has been ever present in my thoughts for many months. Not because I am oh so kind, but because I am not. Oh yes, I used to think I was kind, but adopting a child who has orphan behaviors deeply rooted within her showed me that I am not kind. Being kind costs you something. Being nice doesn't necessarily cost you anything. You can be nice but not mean it. You can say nice things but think ugly thoughts. You can put a smile on and act appropriate for the situation, but it may not cause you to sacrifice yourself. Being kind, on the other hand, does cost your selfishness. It costs your right to say, "This isn't fair." It costs your pride which makes you think somehow your good parenting will overcome the flaws. It costs your ability to vent your anger. The first scripture that disciplined me on this point is:

Colossians 3:8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

As a child of God, I do not have the luxury to stay angry or to act out in wrath. I am commanded to put on kindness. Hmph! I'm not sure I can do that. So what is kindness anyway? If it is not just "being nice" or putting on a happy face even when I don't feel like it, then what is it? As in all things good, I look to the Lord for a model. He is faithful to speak his Word into my heart.

Zechariah 7:9 "Thus says the LORD of hosts, Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another, 10 do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against another in your heart." 11 But they refused to pay attention and turned a stubborn shoulder and stopped their ears that they might not hear. 12They made their hearts diamond-hard lest they should hear the law and the words that the LORD of hosts had sent by his Spirit through the former prophets. Therefore great anger came from the LORD of hosts. 13 "As I called, and they would not hear, so they called, and I would not hear," says the LORD of hosts, 14 "and I scattered them with a whirlwind among all the nations that they had not known. Thus the land they left was desolate, so that no one went to and fro, and the pleasant land was made desolate."

Kindness and mercy. Ok, so mercy is not giving someone what they deserve. I found in many other scriptures referencing kindness, mercy was right there beside it. Not giving what is deserved. Do I want to be merciful? Not always. Am I entering the territory of hardening my heart? Perhaps. If I hear that I have to be kind and merciful, then I can't harden my heart towards this little one who is testing me. If I hear that I have to be kind and merciful, then I can't yell at her in annoyance. If I hear that I have to be kind and merciful, then I can't complain about how difficult it is. If I hear that I have to be kind and merciful, then I can't always demand perfection and exact retribution if not received. If I let the hardness creep into my heart, if I don't fight against it with only the strength God can provide, the picture is not pretty. Scattered, desolate. I don't want that. He didn't call me to adopt to lead me into desolation.

Hosea 11:1 When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. 2 The more they were called, the more they went away; they kept sacrificing to the Baals and burning offerings to idols.3 Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up by their arms, but they did not know that I healed them. 4 I led them with cords of kindness, with the bands of love, and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws, and I bent down to them and fed them. 5 They shall not return to the land of Egypt, but Assyria shall be their king, because they have refused to return to me.

How about this one? Doesn't your heart break? The more they were called, the more they went away! Even though God's beloved turned from him and went their own way, he still led them with cords of kindness and bands of love. This one spoke to me in so many ways. I can relate to verse 2. It seems no matter how much I try to show love to Hannah, she still goes her own way, purposely disobeying again and again. It does get wearisome. I started to wonder how to reconcile this kindness with the need to rightly discipline a child who is disobedient. God does discipline his people out of his kindness and love. Discipline hurts. Don't I know! I went through a huge season of it, and He keeps bringing me back to it again and again. Ha! I am more like Hannah that I would like to admit. Nevertheless, he doesn't crush me. He leads me. He trains me. I always know that it is for my good. He does demand obedience; he does discipline those he loves; he did pour out his full cup of wrath on his beloved son so that I may be adopted as an heir. He didn't pour it out on me; he poured it out on Christ.

Romans 2:4 Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?

That's the one that the Spirit has been speaking to me day in and day out recently. The kindness of God led me to repentance. My kindness is meant to accomplish the same. I did not repent because of God's anger. I came to Him because of His kindness and His unconditional love.

Oh wretched man that I am. Who can rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. There is therefore, now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Each moment is another opportunity to put off the old and put on the new. Kindness. Growing this fruit in me is taking a lot of pruning!

Jello Cells

We are studying Human Anatomy this year with Apologia's Elementary Science. A couple weeks ago we needed to make a model of a human cell out of jello and various candies. The project was interesting and tasty, but our final models did not look much like a cell. Actually, they looked pretty disgusting. Oh well, it just helped remind the kids of all those various cell parts that we had studied. Even by studying the human body at an elementary science level, I cannot fathom how anyone could not believe in a wise Creator. It really doesn't make any sense at all to me. The detail, the intricacy, the perfect design at a microscopic level. Your works are wonderful. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them. Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.

Fun Fridays - Archery

Andrew was the first one to get an arrow into our target (a trash bag filled with paper).




What Middle Ages study would be complete without a little archery? We'll have to practice so we can be ready for our Medieval Feast and tournament.

Fun Fridays, Castles Part 2

The Medieval Castles are complete. We all had great fun building and decorating them. My pictures don't do them justice. The girls' castle is complete with a name, a theme song, interior buildings and street signs. It took 3 afternoons, a bunch of boxes, and enough spray paint to give us all lung cancer, but I'm sure it will be a fond memory. These are the kinds of things I remember most from my early education - projects, paintings, crafts. I really don't remember too much about math class (although I ended up being an engineer) or spelling or grammar. I do remember a first grade painting that I made about the book Petunia and a few diorama book reports and plenty of art projects (although I ended up NOT being an artist or having any drawing ability AT ALL). So, even though it's a lot of work and a lot of mess, I think it is important for our kids. Indeed, I love spending the time with the Thompson family working on these joint ventures. They are a gift to us!

Painting Pumpkins

Fall is here, and the cooler temperatures are blessed relief from the hottest summer I can remember. We've had our windows open and the air conditioner turned off. The cool fall air revives my soul. It is our tradition to paint little pumpkins and make a pumpkin pie at the beginning of October. Thankfully, God enabled us to do both this year.

As I reflect on my state one year ago, even the cool air couldn't revive me then. I was at my lowest point at this time last year. It gives me cause for thanksgiving that I am not there any more. God, indeed, brought me through that pit of despair for a purpose. He "loosened my chains and bound me in His grace" as a Watermark song states. Looking back reminds me what God has done and causes me to cling more tightly to Christ, so I don't go back there again.

Boys and Girls

One of my recent posts showed Andrew "learning to be a man" by helping Daddy remove a stump. Then I realized that I hadn't posted about Lauren, Katie and Emma making banana bread one Saturday. It's amazing how children naturally gravitate towards the roles that God designed for them. We do believe in raising our daughters to be godly wives and mothers who strive to follow after God's plan for them, and we trust that God will raise up our sons to be leaders of their families. But isn't it wonderful when we see that God created them with it already in their beings? His design is perfect. Sin gets in the way and distorts our views, but the purity of their unaffected desires points to a loving and marvelous plan for them. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! May he keep them purely His.